A Son

When I look at you I feel happy, yes sometimes you make me mad, or even a little sad, I’d argue about you with your dad, give him a break he’s only a kid, he’ll make us proud, they all said he will. I place my expectations, to you as high as sky scrapers, but I’m not asking for much just some love. For you I sacrificed pieces of me I should have kept, because you seemed to have misplaced your loyalty. You don’t think you’re causing me much pain, say my illnesses are the one to blame, but little do you know the pain is inside, caused by you and your pride. The diseases are just a mask, maybe a chance for you to accept your task. Pick up your pride and help me now, as I once helped you when you weren’t great.

People were happy when you were born, saying I’ve been blessed by God by having a son. He’ll look after you the way you did to him, live on with the family name. But people only say what society teaches, if only I knew before a daughter is what I needed. I needed a child who could give me a helping hand, not one who ran when life gave him the chance. To you I’m a burden, a headache, more stress, little did you know I tried hard to impress, to please your expectations of how a mother should be, learn the language of the land you now live in, accept your late nights and your drinking. Your new culture; your loss of mine, and the shame you felt mentioning your origin.

At times, I’m frustrated that I gave you so much, love, hope and all my trust. I sacrificed my sleep, more hours at work, breaking my back to give the education you deserved. But little did I know you would be too high for me, to help me the way a son should be.

The community they don’t seem to understand, think you’re just a bad apple and that sons are still saints. But what they fail to see is in the end it was my daughter who gave me her hand, who looked after me at this old stage whilst you please the people who don’t think of you as much, living life the way you think you should.

And as my time nears, I finally begin to see, a daughter is the true blessing and peace. She took me in and gave me what i gave, she didn’t bare the name but she took away my pain. So my blessing from a mother to you is I hope you are blessed with daughters, so you don’t see a day like mine come true.

Pale x

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