Expectations

So I’m deciding to do a post everyday as an attempt to make my life more consistent. Literally zero correlation between the two but it’s a start.

So today I actually wanted to talk about expectations, and how we literally revolve our life around them. I think everyone expects something in one way or another, and they do help motivate us in to achieving what it is we actually want. But then again I also know as individuals we get way too hung up on our expectations as well, and that can be a negative thing because they can then eventually end up making you lose hope in what it is you want from life.

Okay so there are good and bad expectations. Good expectations would be where you want to be in a few years from now. They would be life goals or check points. On the other hand, bad expectations are when we place our expectations on external factors such as other people.

Now this can be hugely draining for the other individual and it’s a horrible position to be in as well. I want to give you a few reasons as to why we should not expect anything from anybody, which is a hard motto to live by I know.

So the first thing would be that us placing our expectations on another individual is bound to lead to us being unsatisfied. Purely for the reason that, that individual is not us. They don’t think like us, don’t act like us and they don’t want the same things we want from life. So it’s already going to be pear shaped.

Secondly, because they don’t think like us. They will never ever meet your expectations of them. Because they simply don’t know what they are or they simply don’t know how to meet them. This once again will lead to you feeling like it’s all their fault and ultimately lead to you blaming them for just not getting it, or for constantly making you unhappy, when in actuality it is you that is making them unhappy along with yourself.

Thirdly, you don’t want the same thing as the other person. Yes you can live together and grow together, but ultimately each individual wants a different thing for themselves. So all of our actions, big or small are directed to that goal subconsciously. Which means that anything that does not suit our life goal is not going to have a huge importance in our life, even if another person expects that from you. Selfish? I don’t think so, I think placing your expectations on someone to the point where they have to choose between you and their ultimate goal is selfish within itself.

And lastly, its just simply unfair. Life is hard enough already without having someone constantly feeling unsatisfied because of your behaviour and so on. Just breathe and understand that you cannot control everything that happens in the entire universe. And realise that if someone doesn’t meet your expectations it isn’t their fault, its yours for placing it on them and then demanding them to meet it for the sake of your happiness.

Don’t place your happiness on situations that are out of your control, once you are happy with yourself what happens outside of you will barely have an impact on you from within. Of course this is a lesson we are all learning, including me but small steps and we will get there together.

A little side note, what I didn’t mean from this blog post is to not have any standards either. Standards are a whole other thing compared to expectations so keep them. I’ll do a post on them sometime too.

Pale x

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