22 Things I’ve Learnt At 22

1) You can’t force anything.

Seriously no matter how hard you try if it isn’t meant to be, it just isn’t. Hate to break it to you but if you continue to force things the lesson of you not getting it, is only going to be prolonged.

2) Not everything needs a response.

This goes for all the times someone makes a sly comment or says something underneath their breath or even does something horrible towards you. Seriously, just let it go. It’s a response that they want. But it’s not what they’re going to get.

3) Love isn’t as innocent as you think.

The good old love fixes everything and brings happiness, is so cliche it makes me sick. Seriously love is in many forms not just the romantic type. And people are only blessed with one form of true love be that family or friends etc. Its also not that innocent sometimes it is love that hurts us the most.

4) Relationships aren’t everything.

This is a big one. In a world where we are constantly fed the term relationships and with couples practically everywhere. They really aren’t all there is to the world. So shift your focus else where and if a relationship comes to you it’s a bonus.

5) Misogyny is present in almost every culture.

Boy oh boy! I used to think as a South Asian we have the highest rate of misogynistic values but apparently that’s not the case. It’s practically everywhere, even through the media and we are fed to have negative attitudes about women from a very young age.

6) Women are the true enemies.

In a world where “Men are trash” we often seem to forget the team of women who support these trashy ass men and buy into their idealistic views. Seriously when have you ever heard a man condemn another man for something he did wrong openly? Now compare that to the many times we hear women condemn innocent women for being victims.

7) Elders aren’t always right, and it’s okay to go against them.

I mean life and it’s values are always changing. So why should we stick to one set of views from my grandmother or so and so. It makes no sense. Minds need to move with the times.

8) Racism is within every culture.

As a minority we almost always think we are the victims in racism. But we fail to see the racism within our own communities and cultures, to other minorities. This needs to change for sure.

9) There really isn’t one set education.

Education can come in a variety of forms not just your average textbook qualifications so honestly don’t beat yourself down over results you didn’t get. Maybe you are meant for something greater than that.

10) Its never too late to follow your dreams.

Literally everything has a plan, and the plan for you to follow yours could be now. So the least you can do is give it a shot. Don’t be scared of failure. Instead be scared of regret of not doing it in the first place.

11) People don’t really talk that much.

In a world where we are surrounded by gossips and tea being spilt all day everyday. You’ll soon realise that none of it actually matters and talking about people is actually a waste of time and a waste of brain cells. Never mind the fact that there’s always a new topic so don’t worry if you’re the main star right now.

12) Money has more disadvantages than advantages.

Now I’m talking about extra money. You know the kind you do the extra shifts at work for. Why do we give up the most valuable item we have which is time for something as cheap as money? Think about it. Especially when we can do without it.

13) Greed kills everyone slowly.

The thing with greed is, it leads to having a life of never being satisfied. Not only that but you actually waste majority of your life and hardly ever having good relations with anyone. Your whole life will revolve around having more than the other and you will never be happy.

14) Comparing isn’t actually motivating.

Come on! We all do this. Consciously or subconsciously it’s there in our minds. We compare to almost anyone, people we know and people we don’t know. Just stop breathe and be grateful for what you have then you will receive more blessings with your patience and hard work.

15) The world isn’t against you.

When we hit the lows of the lows it’s easy to feel like the victim but honestly everyone goes through it one way or another. Be patient and the moment will pass.

16) Sentiment isn’t always a good thing.

This was a hard one for me, I’m so sentimental literally save every piece of my life. But honestly it’s done me no good. Now I just live in the moment and that is it. Move on from both happy and sad memories.

17) Depending on people is literally the worst thing you can probably do.

Don’t ever depend on anyone. Everyone will let you down one way or the other. You are a whole person yourself and you’re enough for yourself. So be independent or you will live a life in what ifs and I can’t.

18) Things going slow is actually a blessing.

Trust me I was the most impatient person any of my friends knew. I wanted things when I wanted them and got frustrated when things didn’t go my way. But life taught me the hard way, like hey slow down you need to learn this and now I’m as chilled as a hippie.

19) Happiness comes from you, not other people or materialistic things.

The whole I’ll be happy when I get to this stage in my life or when I get this house or when I settle down. It’s literally all a mirage. If you aren’t happy in the situation you are in now, you are never going to be no matter the situation. Because happiness comes from you not others. Make the active decision to be happy and you will be.

20) Birthdays really aren’t all that.

It’s my birthday today, if you haven’t guessed already and it’s my happiest one yet. For once I am content with my life and surprisingly it’s at the point where not much is going for me. But the whole birthday shbang, really isn’t my thing anymore. Just need a good burger and chill.

21) The only person who cares about how you look is you.

Be it without make up or with extra weight. If you really didn’t care those comments from others wouldn’t matter. Change your attitude to self love and no matter what people tell you, you loving yourself is enough.

22) Be kind, forgive and smile.

Don’t go a day without this. It will make all the difference in the world. Internally and externally.

Pale x

Hope you enjoyed reading this!

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